courage

I have been thinking about different definitions of courage lately.
Cowardice represses fear but is ultimately mastered by it while courage is a resolution to go forward despite difficult obstacles.
Courage is voluntarily making yourself vulnerable to things greater than yourself.
Courage is a subversive virtue
Courage is acknowledging fear but living through it
Bravery.

I like courage. I wish I had more. I think it is one of those things where you probably never feel like you have enough and in that scary moment, you decide whether or not to create some more in yourself. At church today the pastor was saying the particular church we were talking about in Revelation had compromised on so many things, but God still remembered their names, and that they were set apart for holiness as his beloved people. There is a lot of courage in messing up like that church did and still living in confidence that, no matter how much you mess up, you are called to be something greater than you are currently being. they are given a white stone which signified in that time healing, transformation, hope, and a new name. New names like Beloved. Holy. Brave. Replacing names like Marginalized. Forgotten. Broken. I like that. I think I need newer, bigger names for God. Or for myself, in the way He views me.

The hymn this morning said "Teach me the patience in unanswered prayer." There is courage in saying a line like that too. Its asking God to be silent, to say no to your requests, so you can learn to wait. Sounds pretty tedious. I hear Mother Teresa struggled a lot with feeling like God was silent. But she knew what she was supposed to do, and she did it. She acted. Over and over she helped so many different people.

And there was silence.

And she was still faithful.

Courage.