Sunday, April 20, 2008


I am living in alternate worlds at the same time. Not in a freaky sci-fi way, but I really feel like I am living two lives. I have the life I live at school, and as an RA and friend, and then I have this new life that has emerged, sort of living in my future with lawyers and court and LSAT prep.

I am struggling with this because, to remain sane this year, I have had to compartmentalize my life. I cannot think about all the stuff I saw and experienced in Africa, my future goals to become a lawyer, maintain all the new relationships I have made, and be an RA and be present and here with the girls. I have separated them and open up different ones when I need to. But now they are all coming up at once. A girl friend from Africa just told me she is pregnant, I am studying two horus a day for the LSAT, being a student and friend, and planning stuff for my floor. It is cool, but hard at the same time.

I went to a court sentencing on Friday. An actual sentencing. A guy came in in handcuffs, there was a judge, the whole nine yards. I wanted to be one of the lawyers so bad. I can just imagine being up there, fighting for people, seeing justice happen. Seeing people fail and succeed getting their lives back together. I have never felt more excited in my life about what is next.

So now, on top of everything else, I need to try and compartmentalize the future. I cant wait for it, but I must. And I want to really be here with what I am doing right now, because I know it is important.

Whew. Wish me luck.

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