I went to a wedding in Kentucky this weekend. On the drive down there, I stopped at a place called Moo-licious—it was some sort of farm with lots of interactive things to do and see revolving around cows and cheese. Well, apparently it was closed for the holidays, but we still went in and got ice cream even though it was about 20 degrees outside. Two hours later in my car the remaining ice cream still had not melted. And my car was really warm so it was not because it was cold. I have no idea what it was I actually consumed. I guess it is the South, maybe it was shortening? Who knows? When Rebecca and I arrived back in Chicago we stopped at a grocery store on the south side, relatively near our apartment. It was a huge store, and lots of people were in there. We were the only white people and I barely noticed because it is just part of my life now. However, everyone was staring at us (could have been because I was wearing pajama pants), seemingly shocked that we were at that grocery store with them in that area of town. Like we didn’t belong, and everyone knew that except for us. The extreme segregation in Chicago is something I have not experienced in any other city I have lived in. And I really have no idea how to handle it. It seems to just be the way of life; people of various ethnicities know where they are supposed to live and they stick to it for the most part. That does not sit well with me at all, but I feel powerless to change it. Something I have really seen living here is how entrenched and institutionalized problems can be. So much so that they become normal life and not problems because people don’t know life another way. That is how it is with all sin in general, you desensitize yourself to awareness of wrong; the hope of change and “what could be” is buried under the normalcy of wrong behavior over time.
One of the other Fellows (Sean) just got back from the Parliament of World Religions in Melbourne. He was telling me about a session Jim Wallis spoke at involving the verse about the poor always being with us. Apparently, Jim interpreted this to mean we should always be intentional about the poor being close to us. They should be in our hearts and minds, and this should make us active in advocacy and working for justice on their behalf. An interesting interpretation.
Needless to say, this all is a lot for me to chew on this holiday season. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy new year. Hopefully I will see some of you while I am in California for the holiday
Love from the windy city,
Amy
Monday, December 21, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
poems
The following are two poems that have really moved me the last few weeks. They are by a German man named Rilke in his work "Book of Hours: Love Poems to God."
I'm too alone in the world, yet not alone enough
to make each hour holy.
I'm too small in the world, yet not small enough
to be simply in your presence, like a thing --
just as it is.
I want to know my own will
and to move with it.
And I want, in the hushed moments
when the nameless draws near,
to be among the wise ones --
or alone.
I want to mirror your immensity.
I want never to be too weak or too old
to bear the heavy, lurching image of you.
I want to unfold.
Let no place in me hold itself closed,
for where I am closed, I am false.
I want to stay clear in your sight.
You, darkness, of whom I am born --
I love you more than the flame
that limits the world
to the circle it illumines
and excludes all the rest.
But the dark embraces everything;
shapes and shadows, creatures and me,
people, nations -- just as they are.
It lets me imagine
a great presence stirring beside me.
I believe in the night.
I'm too alone in the world, yet not alone enough
to make each hour holy.
I'm too small in the world, yet not small enough
to be simply in your presence, like a thing --
just as it is.
I want to know my own will
and to move with it.
And I want, in the hushed moments
when the nameless draws near,
to be among the wise ones --
or alone.
I want to mirror your immensity.
I want never to be too weak or too old
to bear the heavy, lurching image of you.
I want to unfold.
Let no place in me hold itself closed,
for where I am closed, I am false.
I want to stay clear in your sight.
You, darkness, of whom I am born --
I love you more than the flame
that limits the world
to the circle it illumines
and excludes all the rest.
But the dark embraces everything;
shapes and shadows, creatures and me,
people, nations -- just as they are.
It lets me imagine
a great presence stirring beside me.
I believe in the night.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
winter
Winter is upon us here in Chicago. It is currently snowing and sticking on the ground. Funny looking trucks are roaming around dumping bright green salt on the roads, and driving into the inner-city to work is a bit more precarious this morning with the pot holes filling with icy wet slush. At least it’s not super icy yet. And new snow makes everything look cleaner. I am sure that is not going to last though.
I am getting used to my life here as the “other.” This is an interesting concept I have talked with some of my co-workers about quite a bit. It seems that no matter what ethnicity or group is the majority in a given situation, there is always this idea of the “other.” A person who looks different, acts different, speaks different that may or may not be a part of your daily life, but is existing somewhere near you. They represent a story your own story and life have never been a part of, and you don’t quite know what to do about it when your paths cross and you have to interact. Everyone feels uncomfortable, but there comes a point where you hear a joke of a story from “other,” or see “other” do something that you resonate with. This leads to conflict or cooperation. And you both decide whether a relationship is formed.
We attended a community organizing meeting at work last week. It was the second one we attended, the first happened our third day of work here. The first time I knew no one, felt acutely aware and kind of uncomfortable as one of the only white faces, didn’t really know what the food was, and didn’t fully understand the issues the community was discussing. A lot has changed. We walked in this time, knew and greeted at least half the people, happily ate the food and engaged with the issues being discussed. I walked out feeling really proud of this. It is the kind of success that cannot be measured on paper, but feels like a significant deal nonetheless.
Also at work on Thursday we received a shipment of about 200 black hoodies from an organization I had never heard of. They gave them to us for free and I didn’t see what the big deal was. Well, turn them over and they have Obama’s face in rhinestones with the word “VICTORY” in enormous letters across the back. We were giving them away and staff members were laughing and wearing them proudly. So if you see some bling-ed out jackets when you are walking around the neighborhood, they were probably from us here.
I am getting used to my life here as the “other.” This is an interesting concept I have talked with some of my co-workers about quite a bit. It seems that no matter what ethnicity or group is the majority in a given situation, there is always this idea of the “other.” A person who looks different, acts different, speaks different that may or may not be a part of your daily life, but is existing somewhere near you. They represent a story your own story and life have never been a part of, and you don’t quite know what to do about it when your paths cross and you have to interact. Everyone feels uncomfortable, but there comes a point where you hear a joke of a story from “other,” or see “other” do something that you resonate with. This leads to conflict or cooperation. And you both decide whether a relationship is formed.
We attended a community organizing meeting at work last week. It was the second one we attended, the first happened our third day of work here. The first time I knew no one, felt acutely aware and kind of uncomfortable as one of the only white faces, didn’t really know what the food was, and didn’t fully understand the issues the community was discussing. A lot has changed. We walked in this time, knew and greeted at least half the people, happily ate the food and engaged with the issues being discussed. I walked out feeling really proud of this. It is the kind of success that cannot be measured on paper, but feels like a significant deal nonetheless.
Also at work on Thursday we received a shipment of about 200 black hoodies from an organization I had never heard of. They gave them to us for free and I didn’t see what the big deal was. Well, turn them over and they have Obama’s face in rhinestones with the word “VICTORY” in enormous letters across the back. We were giving them away and staff members were laughing and wearing them proudly. So if you see some bling-ed out jackets when you are walking around the neighborhood, they were probably from us here.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thankful
I went to a luncheon yesterday hosted by the Niagara Foundation (a fantastic group of Turkish Muslims) downtown. The President of Elmhurst College spoke about the importance of interfaith in higher education. He wondered out loud why interfaith cooperation, and sometimes just religion in general, is remaining marginal in academic enterprise and discourse when it has taken on such a conspicuous role in society. I thought that was really interesting. So many times people of any sort of faith are written of as irrelevant by academia. President Alan Ray was arguing that religion is a public phenomenon and that fact needs to be accepted as the new reality in America. He said that all faiths, including secularism, are living realities influenced by living people and concrete communities; and they should thus be incorporated into the conversation more than they currently are. Basically he was arguing that marginalizing religion in fact hinders liberal learning, and then he discussed the steps his university has taken to embrace different faiths and ensure his students can openly discuss issues of religious diversity. Not an opinion I hear often from leaders in higher education. And the crowd loved what he had to say. Also not something I expected. Most of us in the audience were all interfaith leaders from diverse backgrounds, but still. In the large scheme of things, interfaith is not a very popular idea in a lot of the circles I run in. I was glad to be there, and he mentioned Eboo Patel a lot (the Executive Director at Interfaith Youth Core) as an inspiration.
This Thanksgiving I am thankful for a lot of different things than I have been in previous years. I am thankful that what I am doing is difficult for me, and I feel uncomfortable on a daily basis wrestling with issues of faith and diversity and global engagement. I am thankful that in the last year I have learned so much about other faiths, and grown to respect and admire many people who follow other various traditions. I am thankful I work with a fantastic Muslim organization, and that my roommate is the coolest Jewish girl (just one of the coolest girls in general) I have ever met. I am thankful that I live in a diverse community, and get to talk/think about tough issues of racial/ethnic/socioeconomic reconciliation with people who are actually living it out every day. I am thankful for people who are optimistic that we can end deaths from malaria, and that there are thirty of us in this program (along with the hundreds of other people in other organizations) that are working tirelessly to make it happen.
And I am thankful that I finally got a good coat, because it is supposed to snow tomorrow. The first time of the season.
This Thanksgiving I am thankful for a lot of different things than I have been in previous years. I am thankful that what I am doing is difficult for me, and I feel uncomfortable on a daily basis wrestling with issues of faith and diversity and global engagement. I am thankful that in the last year I have learned so much about other faiths, and grown to respect and admire many people who follow other various traditions. I am thankful I work with a fantastic Muslim organization, and that my roommate is the coolest Jewish girl (just one of the coolest girls in general) I have ever met. I am thankful that I live in a diverse community, and get to talk/think about tough issues of racial/ethnic/socioeconomic reconciliation with people who are actually living it out every day. I am thankful for people who are optimistic that we can end deaths from malaria, and that there are thirty of us in this program (along with the hundreds of other people in other organizations) that are working tirelessly to make it happen.
And I am thankful that I finally got a good coat, because it is supposed to snow tomorrow. The first time of the season.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
song
This is a song I have been listening to quite a bit the past few days. It's by Jonathan Foreman, the lead singer of the Christian band Switchfoot. It's off of his solo album. When you read the lyrics it sounds pretty intense, but it is actually really slow and not really that angry sounding. I think it is really beautiful. It is obviously written specifically at his frustration over Christianity, but I think it could apply to hypocrisy in any faith. It has been a good reminder to me to make sure my actions match up to what I say I am doing.
"I hate all your show and pretense
The hypocrisy of your praise
The hypocrisy of your festivals
I hate all your show
Away with your noisy worship
Away with your noisy hymns
I stomp on my ears when you're singing 'em
I hate all your show
Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show
Your eyes are closed when you're praying
You sing right along with the band
You shine up your shoes for services
There's blood on your hands
You turned your back on the homeless
And the ones that don't fit in your plan
Quit playing religion games
There's blood on your hands
Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show
I hate all your show
Let's argue this out
If your sins are blood red
Let's argue this out
You'll be one of the clouds
Let's argue this out
Quit fooling around
Give love to the ones who can't love at all
Give hope to the ones who got no hope at all
Stand up for the ones who can't stand at all, all
I hate all your show
Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show
I hate all your show"
"I hate all your show and pretense
The hypocrisy of your praise
The hypocrisy of your festivals
I hate all your show
Away with your noisy worship
Away with your noisy hymns
I stomp on my ears when you're singing 'em
I hate all your show
Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show
Your eyes are closed when you're praying
You sing right along with the band
You shine up your shoes for services
There's blood on your hands
You turned your back on the homeless
And the ones that don't fit in your plan
Quit playing religion games
There's blood on your hands
Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show
I hate all your show
Let's argue this out
If your sins are blood red
Let's argue this out
You'll be one of the clouds
Let's argue this out
Quit fooling around
Give love to the ones who can't love at all
Give hope to the ones who got no hope at all
Stand up for the ones who can't stand at all, all
I hate all your show
Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show
I hate all your show"
Saturday, November 14, 2009
contrast
Another week gone by. Time is moving really fast. I think as I get older I see that happening more and more. I don’t like that it gets dark at 4:30 now. We try to leave as quickly as possible once work ends because being in this neighborhood after dark is not the best idea. I saw some people getting arrested on the drive in a few days ago. There are such interesting power dynamics here with the cops. It is pretty much always a white cop arresting a younger looking black male. I heard the other day from a co-worker that a house in this area five years ago went for $120,000 and is now not selling for $40,000. Things are tough all around for the people in this neighborhood. I have had several appointments at doctor’s offices for various things the past few weeks, and something I am learning is that if you are poor or seeking services in a poor area, you wait a long time for things and people are not nice to you. Going to a public health clinic for any reason means I am inconveniencing the people who work there, and I can expect to wait an hour after my scheduled appointment time before I am seen by a professional for services. They get through me, and anyone else there, as fast as they can. We are numbers, not people. Which means we don’t warrant kindness. It is so different from middle-class white America. And I am uncomfortable and frustrated with how drastic the difference is.
At work we share an office with a great woman named Veronica who does lots of job training and computer classes here so there are always people coming in and out to talk to her. Its sad how common the story of “I’m living on food stamps as a single mother and don’t have any income” is. There is this one guy named Patrick that comes in often to help out. I think he used to be homeless, and his teeth are black on one side because he was struck by lightning. Veronica calls him St. Patrick because of how kind he has been in the face of massive difficulties. He has a crush on Rebecca and I and sometimes buys us sweets from the gas station. He also frequently tells us we are cuter than a basketful of puppies. We don’t know who we will meet when we go in for work every day!
We are hosting a blood drive on November 23 with the University of Chicago interfaith Club. I am pretty excited about it. Every two seconds a person in the USA needs blood, and we are going to have educational stuff about malaria as a blood borne illness and what people can do about that. I think it is a creative connection between the local and the global and people can tangibly help our neighborhood by giving blood. I would lead the way and give blood myself, but having had malaria means I can’t which is kind of a bummer. We are hoping quite a few people show up.
Perfect weather this weekend in Chicago. I am afraid I am too used to fall and have still not bought any winter clothes. I am going to hate myself the first time it snows, but until then I am not buying a coat!
At work we share an office with a great woman named Veronica who does lots of job training and computer classes here so there are always people coming in and out to talk to her. Its sad how common the story of “I’m living on food stamps as a single mother and don’t have any income” is. There is this one guy named Patrick that comes in often to help out. I think he used to be homeless, and his teeth are black on one side because he was struck by lightning. Veronica calls him St. Patrick because of how kind he has been in the face of massive difficulties. He has a crush on Rebecca and I and sometimes buys us sweets from the gas station. He also frequently tells us we are cuter than a basketful of puppies. We don’t know who we will meet when we go in for work every day!
We are hosting a blood drive on November 23 with the University of Chicago interfaith Club. I am pretty excited about it. Every two seconds a person in the USA needs blood, and we are going to have educational stuff about malaria as a blood borne illness and what people can do about that. I think it is a creative connection between the local and the global and people can tangibly help our neighborhood by giving blood. I would lead the way and give blood myself, but having had malaria means I can’t which is kind of a bummer. We are hoping quite a few people show up.
Perfect weather this weekend in Chicago. I am afraid I am too used to fall and have still not bought any winter clothes. I am going to hate myself the first time it snows, but until then I am not buying a coat!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
local to global
Belated Happy Halloween! I was a butterfly. My whole small group here were insects. There were a lot of Halloween festivities, and everyone in Chicago seemed to be out and dressed up.
Some of my time during the day here that I love is when I get to do online research and gain inspiration from malaria news and other cool things people have done to raise awareness. I found this great website yesterday (thecausemopolitan.com) and I wish I would have known about it before Halloween so I had time to plan a cool party like that. I also found a great article written by Rick Reilly a few years ago that is fantastic and worth a read. It was quite inspiring to us. (http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/rick_reilly/04/25/reilly0501/index.html)
Rebecca and I had the chance this weekend to attend an interfaith Baha’I music devotional service. It was a fantastic time to connect with some of our Baha’I friends and have an awesome jam session (I got the maracas) while people read various scriptures of inspiration from their various holy books. Rebecca sang a Jewish prayer (Shalom Rav), and I read some from Psalm 36. We have connected with some of our co-workers at the Muslim organization over excitement about the new Twilight movie, and it looks like we might be going to see it together at midnight. An interfaith Twilight party! Rebecca and I are also working hard to set up a HUGE event in Chicago in the spring for World Malaria Day. There are so many steps that go into planning a monster event, and we are working on getting permission from various government officials. I’ll give you more details once we know if it will actually go through.
I think Chicago decided it was November and there is definitely a distinct chill in the air these days. I bought Payless snowboots in preparation. Five months from now it will be warm again! I am slowly becoming a South Sider here. I am excellent at parallel parking, I don’t always pull all the way over for sirens anymore (since it is so common and no one else does either) and I have eaten all you can eat sushi to the point where I thought my entire body was going to turn into a sushi roll. Basically, life continues, and I am adjusting to being a Chicago-an. The biggest challenge we are currently facing is that of connecting the global issue of malaria to the local level where faith communities actually see the importance of eradication to the point that they get involved. If you have any advice, shoot me an email. My website is http://www.faithsactfellows.org/amy.
Some of my time during the day here that I love is when I get to do online research and gain inspiration from malaria news and other cool things people have done to raise awareness. I found this great website yesterday (thecausemopolitan.com) and I wish I would have known about it before Halloween so I had time to plan a cool party like that. I also found a great article written by Rick Reilly a few years ago that is fantastic and worth a read. It was quite inspiring to us. (http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/rick_reilly/04/25/reilly0501/index.html)
Rebecca and I had the chance this weekend to attend an interfaith Baha’I music devotional service. It was a fantastic time to connect with some of our Baha’I friends and have an awesome jam session (I got the maracas) while people read various scriptures of inspiration from their various holy books. Rebecca sang a Jewish prayer (Shalom Rav), and I read some from Psalm 36. We have connected with some of our co-workers at the Muslim organization over excitement about the new Twilight movie, and it looks like we might be going to see it together at midnight. An interfaith Twilight party! Rebecca and I are also working hard to set up a HUGE event in Chicago in the spring for World Malaria Day. There are so many steps that go into planning a monster event, and we are working on getting permission from various government officials. I’ll give you more details once we know if it will actually go through.
I think Chicago decided it was November and there is definitely a distinct chill in the air these days. I bought Payless snowboots in preparation. Five months from now it will be warm again! I am slowly becoming a South Sider here. I am excellent at parallel parking, I don’t always pull all the way over for sirens anymore (since it is so common and no one else does either) and I have eaten all you can eat sushi to the point where I thought my entire body was going to turn into a sushi roll. Basically, life continues, and I am adjusting to being a Chicago-an. The biggest challenge we are currently facing is that of connecting the global issue of malaria to the local level where faith communities actually see the importance of eradication to the point that they get involved. If you have any advice, shoot me an email. My website is http://www.faithsactfellows.org/amy.
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